Jamila Musayeva is a highly respected international personal development coach and etiquette expert, known for her deep knowledge of diplomatic protocol, luxury etiquette, and refined behavior. With a wealth of experience, she has become a leading authority in etiquette, offering transformative lessons and training in both personal and professional spheres.
Jamila is also a prolific author, whose books on etiquette and manners have guided countless individuals in navigating social situations with confidence and grace. Her dynamic YouTube channel, boasting nearly 1 million subscribers, showcases her expertise in self-development and personal growth, making her a sought-after etiquette trainer.
In addition to her online presence, Jamila’s influence extends through her Patreon community, where she provides unique insights, including movie reviews from an etiquette perspective. Her academic achievements, including membership in Phi Beta Kappa and the Golden Key Honor Society, highlight her intellectual distinction, while her global meet-and-greet events reflect her genuine connection with followers.
Fluent in six languages and residing in Azerbaijan with her family, Jamila continues to inspire people worldwide to pursue excellence and embrace continuous personal development.
You have to dress for the job you want, not the one you have
– Jamila Musayeva
1. Your journey as an etiquette expert and personal development coach is impressive. What initially sparked your interest in etiquette and personal development?
To answer this question, I have to take you back to where I grew up and walk through my life experiences. I was born and raised in Azerbaijan, a small but very multicultural country. Historically, it has been influenced by various countries and cultures. Growing up, I was exposed to different cultures, religions, and languages, as Azerbaijan is a tolerant country where these diverse elements coexist peacefully. This exposure sparked my interest and love for learning about other countries and cultures.
With that in mind, I pursued an academic degree in international relations and completed my undergraduate studies at George Washington University in Washington, DC. Living there, I was immersed in a completely new culture. Although I had visited the US before, it was different to live there and experience American culture firsthand. I was always curious about why people lived a certain way and followed specific rules.
In my third year, I had the opportunity to attend an etiquette workshop in Washington, DC, which was a revelation for me. I had never thought one could actually work in this field. Later, I moved to Belgium to pursue a master’s degree in European administration and politics. Living in Europe exposed me to yet another way of life, different from the US. This constant exposure to diverse cultures further fueled my interest in understanding why people do things differently.
Etiquette, at its core, is about the rules and norms of society, influenced by history, lifestyle, religion, and the mentality of a country. My passion for this subject grew, but I never considered it a potential career until COVID-19 hit. The pandemic forced me to adapt to a new reality. I began recording classes I previously offered in person and posting videos on YouTube. This shift made me realize I could fully dedicate myself to etiquette and personal development.
By 2019, I had already written two books and taught courses at the Azerbaijan Diplomatic Academy. I conducted in-person classes both locally and internationally. However, it was through social media that I discovered the potential to build a significant career in this field. Social media allowed me to fully immerse myself in etiquette and personal development, transforming my passion into a profession. Although my background is in international relations, I found more joy in teaching etiquette and personal development than any other subject.
2. Can you share some insights into how your background in diplomatic protocol has influenced your approach to teaching etiquette and refined behavior?
It’s directly related because of my education in international relations. At George Washington University, I minored in History and Sociology, and as part of the international relations curriculum, I attended workshops on etiquette in Washington, DC. While living in Belgium, I also participated in a masterclass on diplomatic protocol and dining etiquette. These experiences were integral to my academic education and naturally aligned with my interests.
Upon returning to Azerbaijan, I started teaching at the Azerbaijan Diplomatic Academy. I noticed that many young people studying international relations lacked the polished manners necessary to excel as diplomats or to present themselves in the best light. This realization inspired me to focus on teaching etiquette to the younger generation. My goal was to spark an interest in etiquette and help make good manners fashionable again.
Manners seem to have been lost in modern society, with many people believing they are no longer important. However, as one progresses in their academic or professional career, it becomes evident that certain manners are essential for socializing with those who value and appreciate them.
I often say, “You have to dress for the job you want, not the one you have.” Similarly, you need to have the manners for the job you aspire to, not just the one you currently hold. This mindset has shaped my approach to teaching etiquette and refined behavior, emphasizing the importance of polished manners for professional and personal success.
3. With such a broad array of expertise, from business etiquette to body language coaching, which area do you find most challenging to teach and why?
I wouldn’t say that these teachings are very different from each other. The way I teach body language is not like CIA training or what specialized body language coaches might offer. Instead, I incorporate body language as a significant aspect of etiquette. It plays a crucial role in expressing emotions, making impressions, projecting confidence, and exuding charisma—all essential elements of presenting oneself to the world.
Business etiquette and social etiquette, in general, heavily involve deportment—how we carry ourselves, walk, talk, and sit. Body language is a fundamental part of this. Therefore, while my approach to teaching body language might differ from that of a dedicated body language expert, it is integral to the courses I teach.
4. As an accomplished author of etiquette books, what do you believe are the most crucial etiquette skills for individuals to master in today’s society?
Well, the list is quite extensive, but I would say the most important skill that seems to be getting lost in today’s society is kindness and respect for others. As people become more egocentric and focused solely on themselves, they often neglect these fundamental values. Alongside self-respect and self-love, it’s crucial to practice love and respect for others, despite our differences. I always say that “different is beautiful.” Not everyone has to live or do things the way you do, and that’s okay.
Etiquette teaches certain standard forms of behavior, such as dining etiquette, which is essential in multicultural gatherings. For example, it would be chaotic if everyone at an international dinner table used their own cultural dining methods. There are standard dining protocols to follow, but it’s also important to understand and respect cultural differences. For instance, in Asia, chopsticks are used, in the Middle East, people might eat with their fingers, and in the West, forks and knives are common. Knowing and respecting these differences shows appreciation for other cultures.
Ultimately, we need to be more open-minded, respectful, and kind towards others. By understanding and being curious about different cultures and ways of living, we practice kindness and etiquette. At its core, etiquette is all about being considerate and mindful of others.
5. Your soft skills courses and training programs are highly regarded. What do you think are the most essential soft skills for success in both personal and professional settings?
I love to quote Maya Angelou, who said, “People will forget what you said, they’ll forget what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” This perfectly encapsulates the essence of soft skills. The most important soft skills are those that influence how people feel around you.
Firstly, the ability to listen is crucial. Active listening is the number one soft skill to practice. To become a better speaker, you must first become a better listener. When you listen well, you can ask the right questions, make thoughtful comments, and engage effectively in conversations. Therefore, improving your listening skills directly enhances your speaking abilities, which is vital for success in both personal and professional settings.
Secondly, how you present yourself to the world is essential. This includes your body language—how you walk, sit, and show up in various situations. Being mindful of your body language can significantly impact how others perceive you. Much is communicated without words, so always be aware of the signals you’re sending through your body language.
In summary, active listening and mindful body language are key soft skills that contribute to success in all areas of life.
6. Your YouTube channel has nearly 1 million subscribers. How do you decide on the content you produce, and what topics resonate most with your audience?
The content for my YouTube channel has always come from the heart. When I was just starting, I created the kind of videos I wished I could find online. YouTube has always been my go-to when searching for information on how to do things, and I often couldn’t find interesting or relevant videos that resonated with me. I wanted my content to be relevant and engaging, so I focused on what I needed and what I would search for myself.
Additionally, I frequently ask my audience for video suggestions. They leave comments, DM me, or email me with their ideas. I keep a notebook with all their suggestions and make videos based on their input as well as my own inspiration. This blend of personal interest and audience recommendations shapes the content I produce.
As for what topics resonate most with my audience, it’s often unpredictable. It’s challenging to determine which videos will be most popular. Despite thorough research, you never really know how a video will be received until you put it out there. For example, a short video on how to eat a banana has garnered over 6 million views, but I doubt it has significantly impacted people’s lives. Many found it funny or made memes about it.
On the other hand, videos like “How to Manage Time,” “How to Elevate Your Life,” “How to Live More Elegantly,” and “How to Become More Organized” didn’t go viral but have made a tremendous impact. People email me saying these videos helped them get a job interview or improve their lives.
I now measure the success of my videos not by views but by the feedback I receive through emails and DMs on Instagram. It’s about the positive impact my content has on people’s lives.
7. Can you elaborate on the unique perspective you bring to movie reviews on your Patreon Community, and how this reflects your approach to etiquette and personal development?
My Patreon community is very special to me because these members choose to support me not only financially but also with their time and comments. This connection motivates me to create content that I would personally enjoy and find valuable.
When watching movies, I always pay attention to different scenes and analyze them from an etiquette perspective. I used to do this in-person with my students, using case studies to dissect scenes together in class. However, when COVID hit, I had to transition online. Initially, I uploaded these analyses to YouTube, but I faced copyright issues that prevented my audience from fully enjoying the content.
As a solution, I started my Patreon community, where I could publish monthly etiquette analyses of various movies without those restrictions. Since establishing this community, I have analyzed over 40 different movies, ranging from classics to new releases.
This unique content combines my love for movies with my expertise in etiquette and personal development. It offers my audience a distinctive perspective that they can’t find elsewhere, reflecting my commitment to bringing etiquette into everyday contexts and helping people develop a deeper understanding of social norms and behaviors through popular culture.
8. You’ve conducted meet and greets worldwide, fostering genuine connections with your followers. Can you share a memorable experience or story from these interactions that has particularly inspired you?
My very first meet and greet was in Washington, DC, at the Four Seasons Hotel. I remember walking in feeling absolutely nervous because I had never connected with my followers in person like that before. To manage this, I kept the group small, under 15 people, so I could give individual attention to everyone within the two-hour timeframe we had.
What left me completely in awe was the diversity of the group. Women aged 20 to 60 from different backgrounds, cultures, religions, and professional fields attended. There was a doctor from LA who flew in to see me, a psychotherapist, a military navy person, a woman working at the World Bank, an entrepreneur, a scientist, and a historian.
I sat there thinking, “Thank God for this opportunity.” It was incredible to have such a diverse group of people in one room, all connected by their interest in etiquette and good manners. They were eager to become more culturally aware and many expressed a newfound interest in embracing their femininity, a topic I frequently cover.
Each meet and greet continues to fascinate me. When people ask about my audience, I find it difficult to pinpoint because they are so diverse in age and background. What truly connects them is their shared interest in etiquette and good manners.
9. Fluency in six languages and a cosmopolitan outlook certainly enrich your coaching. How do these experiences shape your approach to teaching and connecting with a global audience?
What makes my teachings stand out and allows me to connect with a diverse audience is my non-conservative approach to etiquette. Many of my colleagues have a very traditional view on etiquette, presenting it as rigid and inflexible. This can create a disconnect with the younger generation, who may not see its relevance.
I educate on etiquette by emphasizing that these manners and rules exist not to constrain behavior but to empower people. Knowing these rules is a skill that makes you feel more comfortable and confident in various situations. I show that elegance and good manners aren’t about conforming to a specific look or rigid behavior. You can be yourself, dress differently, and still be elegant and well-mannered.
My exposure to different cultures and languages has given me a more open-minded outlook on life. I respect diverse ways of living and believe that etiquette is about making others feel comfortable around you. This might mean temporarily restraining certain behaviors or comments that could offend others.
In today’s online world, where people often feel detached from the consequences of their words, my message is to be kinder, more understanding, and more respectful. If you feel the urge to write something hurtful, try writing it in a notebook and then tearing the page apart instead of posting it. We must be accountable for our actions and words, and etiquette helps us learn how to do that.
